Marriage Stability

What helps strengthen a marriage relationship? Will it require hard work? Where is help found? Do stable marriage exist? Can a troubled marriage be saved?

 

These questions (and many more) are answered in two different but beneficial books on marriage. The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by Dr. John M. Gottman and Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage by Dr. H. Wallace Goddard have different but effective approaches to building and repairing the important relationship between husband and wife. Let's look at their suggestions separately.

 

Dr. Gottman has studied the marriage relationship for decades. He believes the heart of his research and the Seven Principles he suggests in his book is this, "happy marriages are based on a deep friendship." How often have you heard people describe their spouse as their best friend? The one they want to love and laugh with for eternity. These couples, he says, have a mutual respect for one another, enjoy spending time together and know the little quirks the other one possesses. They also express appreciation in big ways and small ways day in and day out.

 

Dr. Goddard says, "The key to a satisfying marriage is to be found in living the principles of the Gospel of Jesus Christ." Learning to live and love like our Savior is one way to develop Christ-like attributes. He goes one to counsel, "Rather than learn a set of skills for dealing with difficulties, we seek a change of heart." He goes on to say that understanding and living gospel principles will soften hearts and build Christ-like character. These attributes will result in happy marriages.

 

Who do these books benefit? Couples in healthy, committed relationships? Troubled, fractured ones? Divorcees? Single men and women? The answer is all of the above will benefit from suggestions and proven methods to help husband and wife strengthen the ties that bind. Goddard writes that often marriage is a refuge from the storm and other times marriage is the storm. There is much truth to that statement. All marriage relationships have ups and downs as two people blend and meld their lives together. Past relationships, family history/dynamics, personalities and current trials all play a part in marriage stability. Building a life together challenges even the most committed couples. Goddard closes his first chapter with this promising thought, "It is Jesus-- only Him and His truths-- that transforms our marriage from crippled relationships to walking, working, dancing partnerships."