Safeguarding a Marriage

Speaking of a young newlywed couple Elder Bruce C. Hafen said, "Marrying and raising children can yield the most valuable religious experiences of their lives. Covenant marriage requires a total leap of faith: they must keep their covenants without knowing what risks that may require of them. They must surrender unconditionally, obeying God and sacrificing for each other. Then they will discover what Alma called “incomprehensible joy.”"

I have always loved to watch newlyweds. I find their extreme happiness adorable. They're so excited about life! They are full of hope and are down right giddy with their many plans for the future. They don't know what lies ahead for their life. Acting on their faith and on the promises of joy, they enter into marriage committed and courageous. Health problems, job difficulties, infertility or even death might befall them but in a covenant marriage they are not deterred. A covenant marriage will work through any and all problems that befall them. Does that mean it will be as easy? Certainly not.

Elder Hafen talks about three wolves that enter into marriage seeking to destroy the relationship. The first wolf is the wolf of natural adversity. There are many tragedies in life. Accident, death, the inability to have children, disease and more can tear two people apart that are not committed to a covenant marriage. The second wolf is the test of their own imperfections. No one is perfect so expecting perfection from a spouse in unreasonable. Improving our own faults will go much further than pointing out the faults of a spouse. The third wolf is the wolf of excessive individualism. Me, me, me. That's what the world wants us to believe is important. Instead of looking outward to serve, this wolf encourages one to sink inward and only help themselves. Not surprisingly, this wolf leads to loneliness and despair both in a marriage and as an individual. Satan wants to destroy individuals and delights in taking marriages down at the same time.

I love what Elder Bednar said about protecting the sacred relationship between husband and wife. "Given what we know about our enemy's intent, each of us should be especially vigilant in seeking personal inspiration on how we can protect and safeguard our own marriages." Another quote by Elder Whitney Clayton is above. Marriage is a gift from our Father in Heaven and the quality of our marriage is the gift we give in return. When looked at in this context, ideas on marriage responsibility can change.

Despite the challenges thrown at a couple in a covenant marriage, they hold steady and continue moving closer to God. There is no better place to feel peace than in the temple. Elder Hafen closed with this, "When we observe the covenants we make at the altar of sacrifice, we discover hidden reservoirs of strength." Can you think of a marriage that doesn't need a hidden reservoir of strength? What a wonderful promise to help with all the unseen twists and turns we take here in mortality.